Friday, March 18, 2016

This is all I have left in me--#SOl 16 Day 18

This is all I have left in me this week---#SOl 16- Day 18

I need to confess.
I am exhausted and tired.
This week has been long.
My responsibilities have been many.

Tonight, I feel like a failure.
I physically, mentally, and emotionally
Have little energy to invest
In this entry.

I am so tired, and I have had a
Headache for the last two days.

Okay, you do not need to
Hear me complain.

I can’t wait to sleep tonight.
To just close my eyes
And let the world melt away
For the next few hours.

In my culture, sleep is the inter-
Section between the living
And the dead
A space where the dead visit
The living in dreams
Sometimes with cryptic advice and
Sometimes just to make
Their presence felt again.

I remember when my mother
Had died she visited me in
My sleep
She looked much older
Her hair was completely gray
She looked at me and said,
“You need to accept this.”
A dream of reassurance

Back in the fall I was on the bus when
I heard a Haitian woman
Yelling as she got off the bus.
From that point, I just grabbed my
Phone and wrote the following poem
Who knew this poem would
One day allow me to go to bed?

Wishing you all a good night, day or afternoon
dependending on when you read this entry.

Here it is:

“Map rele ou,”  the woman says as she gets off the bus
I will call you.
“Mwen gen yon boul pou ou.” (I have a lottery number for you.)
Numbers swirling in dreams
In the guise of symbols
Gifts from the dead
Whispering numeric combinations
in your dream
to be played
Played like a game
releasing dollars
to light the house
warm your neck
fill your children's belly
A boul bolet
A ball tossed from the world of
the dead to the living
The dead's feeble attempt to help
From afar

From within


  1. Loved how you wove this slice. I hope your weekend is restful and reviving.

  2. I love that this post is a poem within a poem. Both are beautiful. I especially love the stanzas about sleep as the in-between of life and death. I too have been visited by my beloved departed family members in my sleep, so I understand what you mean.

    Have a good weekend! Get some rest. Another long week next week....

  3. I hope you had a deep, restful slumber, and that your headache is gone. (Keep hydrating!)
    Sleep is such a restorative balm both physically and spiritually. I, too, have had messages from loved ones in the spirit world in my dreams. It's the best feeling to know they are there.
    I love knowing that you pull out your phone to compose poems as you go about your day. "boul bolet" is great, especially "releasing dollars to light the house."

  4. Please tell me you were able to get some restorative sleep! You deserve it. I love how you used this wonderful slice to close the day. Thank you.